Sexual Abuse’s Silent Majority
The media is ablaze with the revelation of hidden sexual abuse against women. A surge of power is felt as more women step forward to name prominent politicians, stars and other moguls; exposing their sexual aggression and perversion.
Sadly, that same ‘surge of power’ does not seem to quickly transfer to the majority of those hiding or holding more horrifying stories of sexual abuse. They remain quiet. Perhaps they are contemplating, fearful, or shamed. These stories will not cause twitter storms, or a Facebook fury, nor are they likely to make the rounds on CNN, Fox or MNSBC. No mainstream headlines. Yet, such stories are powerful.
They are the stories heard by friends, mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers. Stories that tear apart families, destroy friendships, and leave the victim traumatized all over again. Unfortunately, these stories have a starring but scarring role in the victim’s life, sometimes forever.
In Any-town, USA, the smothering pain of abuse still lies dormant in the psyche of many. For most victims, the shame, fear, and even the enormity of personal loss such revelation would incur, causes the holdout. And for others silence is a preference, perhaps a desire to self-protect (dissociate), to bury the pain, and move on. Truth is, without intervention, victims never really ‘move on’. This is especially difficult for victims who know their abuser.
Most abusers are not in jail or on probation, or in small town news stories. They double as parents, CEO’s, blue collar workers, musicians; they are young and old, in places of worship, the halls of educational institutions, and homes. They are people we meet every day with a smile, a firm handshake, a joke, or a heft belly laugh. They are from all backgrounds who look and act like ‘good people’. This is because an abusers’ behavior is predatory and opportunistic. Their actions are planned; similar to a hungry animal that sets out to seek prey. It seeks, finds, and waits for an opportunity to attack.
Sexual abuse has been a plague on society for thousands of years. Even the Old Testament contains tragic stories of sexual abuse, rape, and incest. 2 Samuel 13:11-14 is the account of Amnon, the son of King David, who seeks an opportunity to be alone with his sister. When the opportunity arises, he insists that she sleep with him. She rejects him, and he rapes her: “But when she brought them near him to eat, he took hold of her, and said to her, ‘Come, lie with me, my sister.’ She answered him, ‘No, my brother, do not force me; for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do anything so vile…But he would not listen to her; and being stronger than she was, he forced her and lay with her…”
Abusers victimize, exploit, and oppress. They must be stopped. Victims must seek help, set boundaries, and elicit support, even share their story. So, who is ‘Sexual Abuse’s Silent Majority’? You are, if your abuse is a secret. There is no good reason to suffer in silence. Please consider sharing your story. Seek help and [work to] expose or confront your abuser. This will not only help change the narrative, but can dramatically change you, your life, and prayerfully, the abuser. You are not alone. #MeTooDMV
Rev. BJ Buchanan
B.A. University of MD
Th.M., PhD. Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary
Founder: HEART Ministry (formerly WINGS), #MeTooDMV
Box 7, King George, VA 22526